Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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