True but thats because hes a fetus.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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