Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize