Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
