i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
