Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
