We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
