I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
