Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
