that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
