Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
