absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
