mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
