its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is classic penis vs brain.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
