don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
