Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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