in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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