I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
