Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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