He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
