how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
