i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
