you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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