margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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