who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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