the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
