I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
