her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
from now on my penis is your penis
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
