That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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