Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
