handjob tips. give me some.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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