girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
