The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
