Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
