After last night, I could never be a politician.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
