but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
