just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
