I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
