He is such a slut. More and more my type.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
