Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
