yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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