i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
