Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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