i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
