God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
