we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
