This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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