You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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