nutella sex= disaster
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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