THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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