i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
